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INNOCENCE Bench

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Letting emotions soften and flow............... 

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"Life CAN be lived in a gray area between turbo and off!"

Diabetes, Bi-Polar, Ulcerative Colitis and more...

Here is a case of a male in his fourties who was considered a lost case by many. The overall profound changes in his physical and emotional well-being you are going to hear about speak for themselves. EFT has made it possible for him to get at peace with himself where there was never peace before!

About one year ago I had called Gary Craig of http://www.eftuniverse.com for advice about how to proceed with an extremely difficult case I had just taken on. I had told him that this man had so many complicated issues that I didn't know where to start.Gary told me then to have him make a list of 20 issues that really bothered him when he started thinking about them. So I did. That list has been worked off one at the time until we got through two thirds of the issues. After that the ones remaining on the list had no emotional charge whatsoever left for him.

When we started working with EFT, my client's physical problems included:

Ulcerative Colitis, Diabetes, full-blown both. Taking many different medications, making him sick to his stomach.

His biggest emotional problems were:

Bi-Polar (extreme ups and downs), unpredictable and very aggressive behavior, sexual abuse in his teens by his Scoutmaster, physical and emotional abuse by his Dad, his own alcohol and drug abuse (alcoholic parents), family pressures (Dad dominating military General, son never good enough), never felt like "measuring up" to co-workers from prestigious schools and money.

When I first saw him, he would throw up when he started talking about some of his issues. He'd run to the bathroom, cringing of pain and severe internal spasms, related to his colitis. Emotional upset would always trigger his blood sugar to shoot up, causing more complications for his Diabetes. His wife, having been through hell and back with him for years, was an emotional wreck at that time.

Today he is a changed man.
He is off his meds except for Diabetes. Last colonoscopy "amazed" his doctors, he doesn't have to come again for the next 5 years. Blood sugar is under control, Doctors are very pleased with A1c levels and his positive attitude, his efforts and results. His emotional ways now are much less dramatic; he's been off his mental meds for months. His emotional issues have been acknowledged, alcohol and drug abuse dealt with, he now feels "who am I" versus "who others and myself think I OUGHT to be". He now accepts and lives with his reality, the things he can or cannot change. He points out that "life can be lived in a gray area between turbo and off".

I have worked with this man for almost one year. We did one session every week. During this time I have experienced many ups and downs in this case. Because of his insomnia - I forgot that one! - at times he would sleep in late, thereby missing his appointment with me. Sometimes he would come in with "crazy" eyes, bloodshot and wild, because his blood sugar was totally out of control. I had to get used to enormous mood swings and unpredictable behavior on his side. Or he came in ragingly angry, cursing people in his environment, accusing them of being "totally stupid", because many associated his agitated looks and freaked-out behavior with new alcohol abuse. His wife would accuse him of drinking; now it was her turn to lash out at him for everything he had done to make her life miserable in the past. Once in a while I did a couples session with both of them, because they fought like cat and dog and did only yell at each other. The fact that he had just lost his high-paid computer job did not make things easier. Depending on his wife to support him, he made it through this very tough time in a way that I can only admire!
He now studies to become a teacher, taking 16-week classes in 6 weeks and receiving an A for it!

All this time it took quite some patience and caring on my side, the focus on going forward and "taking" him along when he felt lost. He had to be shown that he indeed could get better, to do some more in the positive direction, to improve, to relax and let himself "flow with the new flow". I suggested to him over and over, sometimes talking about my own experiences, my own recovery from abuse and dysfunction, that he too could make it. So he would pick it up from there and start anew. He would start to believe in himself again, made another step forward with me. There were times when I had to be pushy and firm, others when I just felt for him, when he came in for his session in pieces and needed to be calmed down, in order to be able to go on living at all. It was quite exhausting for me at times. However, the rewards have been rolling in for months now.

There were many occasions, many sessions where I found myself going with this one - again:

"Even though I feel inadequate ..... probably always will ..... never fit in .... never have .... can't get it together .....
I now choose to be open to the possibility ..... that even I can change ..... to make myself feel better ..... to have a more peaceful life ....

I now choose to understand ... that because I went through hell ... and made it back ..... on my own ..... survived again .... there is a good chance for me..... to find even more strength .... even more power ... deep within ..... to save myself .... one more time ..... to get back my life .... because I really deserve to have one ..... one of my own ... one that I truly like to have...

Because there was so much rage in him, we tapped on that numerous times. After 3 months his "rage attacks" decreased and became less violent. As his anger decreased, so did his physical symptoms. His blood sugar stabilized, the colitis went into remission. We did a visualization in which he saw his rage as a volcano, that decreased to a "baby volcano" and made room for peace and calm.

"Even though I stuff down my rage .... I have it somewhere ... don't know where it comes from when it hits me ...can be anytime ... it's my second half .... have known it forever ....
"Even though it's familiar to me to be angry...... there are so many idiots out there ... could be it's safe to be angry ... I am an angry man .... I'm a SMART angry man .... and I DO accept myself just the way I am..."

"I now choose to lean back and look at the world around me ... and see all the things I want to do ... to experience ... to enjoy..... all the hiking I want to do ... all the camping .... all the looking at stars at night ...."
"... so I choose to accept the fact .... that there are many things to do for me .... many things to achieve .... and in order to do them ... I need to relax .... and focus on myself ..... and let go of some anger.... and be okay with it".

We also did some work on the Inner Child.

"Even though I weep for my little boy..... and all he has been through .... and no end in sight .... I now choose to comfort him and make him feel safe .... he never knew what that feels like ... so that he can finally be safe with me ... his oldest friend ....

.... and even though he's scared to death .... can't trust anybody..... maybe not even me ... and it makes me cry again ... all this hopelessness .... all the disappointments ..... and the huge void inside ....
I now choose to hold him close ... at all times ... and show him that there is love and warmth somewhere ... and joy.... even for the two of us ....
I now choose to find better ways to nurture him ... because when I do .... I'll be nurtured too.."

We did many forgiveness meditations, many visualizations on grief and guilt.
These days we tap on issues related to his marriage, which sometimes have a tight grip on him:

"Even though I can understand that she hates me. ... for all that I did to her .... for all that she couldn't do .... or have .... because of me ....
I choose to understand that I need to look out for myself ... when she is raging against me ... just like I did to her some time ago ..... I choose to detach and get out of her way ... and tell her how important she is to me .. and how much she means to me.... and that the scary times are over ... and she can start trusting me again."

So much intense work done, still some to do. It was a long time of hard work. Because I had superior rapport with him it was possible for him to trust me. One survivor to the other!
I'm grateful, that we made it this far. I'm grateful to him for this time of learning and fine-tuning.

As always, I'm going "turbo" towards the next case where EFT does it!